Parque Retiro, Madrid — **Parque** **Retiro, Madrid**

To recount this tale, I’ll have to take us back to Summer 2015. It would wind up being the summer of love but I didn’t know that when I boarded my first plane from Canada to Europe, leaving everything and everyone I’d ever known behind for the first time. It had been a long, cold winter in Montréal (as usual) and by that spring I’d already gotten out of two back-to-back relationships with decent enough guys but no one that had exactly sent my heart aflutter. Maybe it had been the winter blues but I hadn’t even hesitated to accept when one of my closest friends, Marie, had invited me in February to explore Europe with her for the entire summer. While Montréal was known to get wild during the warmer months, I was looking for a bit more adventure in life at the point and the continent of great wine and castles seemed to be it.

All of my girlfriends at that time also just happened to be single as the biggest French Canadian city could be a very difficult city to date in as a woman for various reasons, so I didn’t even think to mention the trip to the last boyfriend. It felt likely that we would break up long before my departure date arrived, not because of any serious issues but because spring was about to roll around and cuffin season would officially be over after a whirlwind courtship in November. I turned out to be right as we called it quits by the time the last snow thawed in mid-April and I was glad that for my upcoming travel plans as it would be the first time either of us would be overseas for longer than a week.

Still, with warmer weather came hotter guys and somehow I found myself wrangled into another affair in early summer just weeks before I left. This time I was completely upfront about my trip details, making it clear that whatever we were would have to end the moment I took off for the Old World. I wasn’t being cold-hearted, just pragmatic as I’d already tried and failed at long-distance love back in summer 2013 when immigration and visa denials had pulled my French ex and I apart. Needless to say I wasn’t exactly keen to repeat the experience since, after the 10-week trip across Europe, I was planning to move to South Korea indefinitely. The plan had already been in motion for nearly as long as the trip and even Summer Boy #1’s his charm couldn’t have changed my mind. I knew better at that point, or so I thought.

I couldn’t possibly go through that again I thought naively after he’d dropped me off at the airport and we’d said our last good-byes. I’m pretty sure the Gods were laughing at me that day because I’d end up meeting the next love of my life just two weeks later by pure accident.

But let me not get ahead of myself.

Marie and I had 25 cities on our itinerary, from Dublin to Rome, but little did I know what awaited me in only our third country out of ten. Fast-forward two weeks into our trip and we were dancing the night away in a packed club in Madrid when I went to the bathroom and returned to find Marie flirting with some random hottie. I wasn’t about to kill their vibe so I headed back to the group we’d assembled from our hostel, including some of my other girlfriends who’d flown into town specifically to meet up with us.

A half hour later we were changing venues and it was finally time to peel my girl away as our crew was growing restless to see more of the city’s famed nightlife. As it was only our first night in the city ourselves, I was anxious to get moving too so I didn’t even think twice when the guy typed his number into her cellphone on our way out the door.

We danced until dawn from that night to the next but by our third evening I was exhausted, wanting to rest my weary feet and perhaps stay in for the night. It was 45C+ in Madrid that week, a dry, intense heat that had resulted in all my travel companions except for me getting sunburned (#teammelanin) from just walking around under the scorching sun. I was already comfy in my bed after a long day of ooh-ing and aah-ing over the sights when Marie got a call which ending up being her Spanish beau, Mario, who was inviting her out to his place for a more than friendly get-together.

Parque Samà, Cambrils — **Parque** **Samà,** **Cambrils**

I was reluctant to leave the cool, air-conditioned confines of our 8-bed hostel room (more glamorous than it sounds) but I also didn't want her wandering to some random guy's place alone. I'd seen Taken and even Western Europe could be dangerous for a pretty American white girl. I was torn between my laziness and being a good friend when she mentioned that Mario's house happened to feature a salt-water pool.

Turned out that was all she had to say because next thing I knew my inner mermaid came out and I was in a bikini, Mario was picking us up and we were on our way to his place.

On the way he tried to talk up the friend he'd invited for me (likely to keep me from cock-blocking) but I barely listened to him, already over the night. I just wanted to go for a swim, yearning for the next week when we'd be hitting up Barcelona's golden coast and crystal clear waters. Anything to get away from the insufferable heatwave in Madrid.

Mario parked the car in his driveway beside another car and as we exited his vehicle the driver of the other vehicle also got out, a tall, lanky guy with dark hair and thin features. I took one look at him and practically rolled my eyes. Not because he wasn’t attractive but let’s just say hooking up wasn’t exactly in my train of thought as I kept an eye out for that mythical pool.

Inside the house, the guys proceeded to make us drinks while we all chatted for a bit seated across from each other in the living room. The friend’s name was Alejnadro and, like Mario, he was an aerospace engineer born in Madrid. However, unlike Mario, who seemed to be a chatterbox built in the shape of a linebacker, his friend seemed much more reserved, thoughtful even, nearly the opposite of his college mate.

As Marie and Mario made googly-eyes at each other, Alejandro asked me about my life in Canada and I casually mentioned to him that I was moving to South Korea in the fall. He appeared intrigued by my response and asked me a follow-up about the lifestyle there and if I was nervous about what was sure to be a drastic culture change.

At first I was a bit thrown by his all direct eye contact and his questions, which might seem strange to say but most guys would’ve already crossed into my personal space by that point, like the way Mario’s hand was now comfortably rested on Marie’s thigh. She seemed to have no problem with it, lost in his green eyes which were currently locked on her ample, double-Ds. A match made in Heaven.

Alejandro’s eyes were locked on mine, though, and when he asked me about our plans for the trip, it finally hit me. He was actually trying to make conversation with me. I asked where the pool was since it was already midnight, we were two drinks in each and the temperature was still covering somewhere above 28C (82F). It was time to get wet.

At my not-so-subtle suggestion the rest of the group changed into their swim gear while I waited in the backyard (or terraza as it was known there) and gazed at the community pool just 10-meters away, the promise of a cool dip calling me. I’d never swum in a salt-water version before and was dying to try it out.

Alejandro came out next to join me and then offered me a refill from the bottle of spirits we’d all been sharing all night. It was a sweet Spanish liquor and I’m a well-known lush so I readily accepted, just as the others burst out of the backdoor laughing, tangled in each other. I knew the rest of the night was a wash when we got to the Olympic-sized pool where they immediately disappeared to the far, far side for more privacy and that was it.

It was just me and Alejandro.

I peeled off my top and kicked off my shorts, telling him I wanted to jump right in. He said we could do it together, holding out a hand toward me which I took firmly in mine. With that we leapt into the deep end, not knowing then that this would be the first of many leaps that we would take together in our lifetime.

We swam in circles and spent the night talking about everything from pop culture to science, the chemist in me thrilled that he actually could understand the gist of the three hundred-page graduate thesis I’d just submitted a semester before. Normally when I started to explain it, most people’s eyes glazed over in a mixture of confusion and mild boredom. That night the water was divine and so was the conversation as we just seemed to click, all without him ever touching me once. I knew I wasn’t crazy in sensing his attraction to me but it was very telling that he never acted on it.

Instead I was the one who reached for his hand again and then we floated on our backs like otter pups, fingers interlocked as we drank in the night sky, the suburban location far enough from the city lights to let us see the Milky Way. His hand seemed to be electric in mine and for the first time in a long-time I felt a real connection beneath the twinkling of all those stars. We looked over at each other, our eyes saying more than words ever could, but the spell was broken as a big splash washed over us.

Marie and Mario were back from their tryst and making a ruckus, still drunk in love for the night. Someone made a comment about the late hour and I realized it was already past three o’clock, time having flown by in the pool while we’d been transported by the stars. We all got out of the water but Marie announced that she was there to stay, at least for a night, and I temporarily balked at her words. Her date had been our ride to his place so how exactly did she expect me to get back to the hostel?

Château de Tamarin, Platja de Tamarit — **Château** de **Tamarin,** **Platja** de **Tamarit**

Alejandro must’ve read the look on my face because he jumped in to offer me a lift back and I was grateful for his chivalry because there was no way I was sleeping over when I was already paying 20€ a night to share a room with strangers. We left the lovers to it and headed for his car, my grumbling stomach reminding me on the way to the hostel that I’d only taken part in a liquid dinner.

Being a local, I asked Alejandro if he knew of any places in downtown Madrid that were still open at this hour to which he responded by offering to escort me there. I was happy to accept, wanting more of his company. So much so that I leaned forward of my own volition and pop-kissed him squarely on the mouth, surprising the both of us.

It was a chaste enough gesture but it had been worth it just to see the expression on his face as it seemed to stun him into momentary silence. I found myself giggling as he proceeded to park the car and then promptly walked me three blocks over to a plaza with a typical European cathedral just off the center.

Madrid being a city that truly never sleeps, the plaza was amazingly still chock-full of people just hanging around, loitering on the church steps or sitting in groups right on the pavement of the square. We were lucky to be able to snag a bench in front of one of the many pizza parlors lining the street and Alejandro treated me to a slice of pizza. A true Madrileno, he then recounted me the history of the plaza but I could tell his mind was elsewhere from the look he was giving me. I finally gave into the admittedly-mutual attraction as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and turned my face up toward his. The rest of the night seemed to fly back after that and by the time we came up for air again it was nearly dawn, the sun just beginning to push back the darkness from the sky.

“Don’t you have to work today?” I asked Alejandro, looking up to find the plaza now empty. It was officially a mid-July Tuesday morning.

He nodded a bit solemnly but shrugged, arm still tight around me. “In about two hours but it’s okay.” He kissed me again and I knew he meant it, even after as he walked me back to the safety of the hostel and wished me good night with one last, long embrace.

Good night didn’t mean goodbye though, as we would spend my last few nights in Madrid together to make the most of them when he'd get out of work. He would also be the one to drop me off at the train station to head to Barcelona. So many parallels between the ending of my last relationship and this one of only a few days but somehow it was harder to leave this time.

Yet leave I did.

I told Alejandro to keep in touch, knowing most guys wouldn’t as Mario had already ghosted Marie by that point. He told me that he would, although I didn’t expect him to in the slightest and, with a flash of my train ticket to the security agent, he disappeared from my sight yet never quite from my mind or my inbox.

After a week in Barcelona, Marie and I flew over to Amsterdam and still my correspondence with Alejandro continued. We explored the city for a few days with another American college friend of mine who was studying in the Netherlands and every day, as soon as I connected to WIFI after coming home from our adventures, another text from Alejandro would slide into my DMs. They were a consistent reminder that he was still thinking of me even as we physically grew closer apart.

Torre de Belén, Lisbon — **Torre** de **Belén,** **Lisbon**

At the beginning of August Marie and I trained it over to Belgium and then France where I sent him pictures from the Eiffel Tower during our week in Paris and, in turn, he sent me pictures from his job running maintenance on airplanes the size of buildings. Some nights he would video-call me and I’d tell him all about my day, squealing over the Gothic architecture and Renaissance art, while he gave us pointers on what to see next.

For nearly every major city we visited he had a suggestion, letting me know that he’d traveled as much as I still craved to, which was one of the many things I’d grown to like about it him, much to my chagrin. I honestly didn’t need to be out here catching feelings for anybody but could still feel myself slipping no matter how hard I fought the temptation. By the time Marie drove us to Bordeaux, I realized that we only had four weeks left on our crazy adventure and then I’d be off to Montréal to apply for my South Korean work visa at their local consulate.

On a whim the night just before we left for Nice, I mentioned to Alejandro that Rome would be our last stop before I went home, off-handedly contemplating how nice it would be if he could meet me there, if only to see each other once more. It would be the closest we’d ever get again before life moved us to opposite ends of the world. I was frankly shocked when he concurred, telling me he’d buy the tickets the next day although I hadn’t thought he’d actually go for it.

Nonetheless, as of the moment Marie and I left Nice to head to Genova in northwest Italy, he’d reserved the two of us a room in a B&B and I couldn’t help but find myself counting the days until we reunited. I just needed to get through Milan, Venice, Verona, Florence, Pratto, Lucca and Pisa first.

**My first Spanish wedding, Villanueva de la Sirena**

The day we set foot in Rome I helped Marie check into her hostel and connected to their internet to see a tiny pop-up from Google telling me his plane had landed safely a half hour before, an alert that the app had apparently set up when he’d forwarded me his confirmation email. Marie was also having a gentleman caller meet up with us in Rome, a fellow Canadian who’d made her acquaintance during our time in Paris. They’d gotten a private room at the hostel and I was glad for it as I used her bathroom to freshen up as we waited for the last of our companions to arrive.

Remarkably, there were butterflies in my stomach which I hadn’t expected yet, the instant he walked through the lobby and our eyes met through the throng of fresh check-ins, I knew I was a goner. While Marie was off with her lumberjack, I was exploring the Eternal City with my conquistador and together we discovered the Colosseum, ate gelato, toured the Sistine Chapel, sampled pasta and ate some more gelato along the way.

Time seemed to fly by in his company and on our second to last day together we visited the Pantheon and wandered its vast grounds. I sat on a huge, thousand-year old rock to rest my feet and he joined me to rest his head on my lap as we languished in the late afternoon sun, each lost in their own thoughts but it was obvious what was left unsaid. Just one more day together. I ran my fingers through his sleek, dark hair, causing him to look at me, really look at me, and I knew then that he’d never let me go.

Our farewell the next day was bittersweet as I saw him off to his bus for the airport but I promised him that I wouldn’t cry so I didn’t, reminding myself he wasn’t the first man I’d left that summer. He was just the one I’d missed the most.

In mid-September I flew back to Canada to pick up my visa and pack up the last of my things before moving to the Land of the Morning Calm. It turned out that the lifestyle was anything but calm as my life in Korea was nothing like I imagined it would be. Not that I didn’t enjoy my time there since I made a ton of new friends and travelled extensively throughout the country at every opportunity. These included briefly staying with monks in Korea’s oldest Buddhist temple, learning to ski, setting a mountain on fire and watching the sea part like Moses, among many more adventures. South Korea was the quaintest mix of traditional values with modernism, a fast, wild ride of partying and endless festivals to keep one entertained until the wee hours of even a weekday morning.

None of these experiences offset the stress of my job though. Korean bosses were known for being tyrants but mine was a slave-driver who regularly short-changed my salary and who I would eventually learn was frauding both myself and the government. It wasn’t long before I needed an escape so when Alejandro offered to host me for the nearing Christmas holidays I quickly agreed, hopping on the first flight to Madrid I could afford.

He spent a week guiding me around the city to all the sights I’d missed before and took me to Toledo to see the famed Pink City up close and personal as well. His immediate family lived there as well so he introduced me to them as his friend over lunch. From their knowing looks across the table, I knew they could tell we were more than that. So could his actual friends as we rang in the New Year with them a couple days later and he kissed me for luck at the stroke of midnight.

To keep the celebration going, the lot of us went out dancing until we couldn’t dance anymore, boogying from one nightclub to the next all night. It was nearly dawn by the time we all said goodbyes and as Alejandro and I wandered off to find a taxi back to his place, I tripped on the cobbled street in my heels, more used to the smoothly paved streets of North America. He rushed forward to steady me but I waved him off, telling him he worried too much.

“I can’t help but worry about the people I love,” he replied.

“You love me?” I repeated, frozen by the realization.

Alejandro hesitated for a moment, seeming to want to take the words back but instead he squared his shoulders and looked me dead in the eyes. “Yeah, I love you and you love me, right?” I didn’t know how to answer. No man had ever said that to me before, not even in my immediate family, let alone a guy who’d spent the better part of our relationship 10,000 km away in a different continent.

Still, in my heart I knew I couldn't went that I felt the same. We eventually got into a taxi to go back to his and then got into bed for the night while I thought on what he’d said. It wasn’t until after a long while when I was sure he was asleep that I felt safe enough to whisper the three little words back into his ear.

“I love you too,” I repeated more confidently when he was conscious this time and we were slipping and sliding around together in his shower that morning.

“I know,” he said with a wide grin and shampoo still in his hair. “I heard you last night.” That earned him a whack on the arm and a kiss before I was back off to Korea.

Three months later and it was his turn to come and see me that spring. I rented us some cute AirBnBs in Seoul and Busan and then watched him as he took in the wonder of first-world Asia with its intricate mix of skyscrapers and temples, both uncommon in a European landscape. We spent three wonderful weeks together but every day just filled me with more dread as I waited for the other shoe to drop. Something told me that dark times were on the way.

Maybe it was because I was unhappy in Korea, my stress level so high that it was beginning to affect even my health, but by the time summer rolled around, I was ready to leave. Alejandro was my lifeline the entire time there, keeping me sane as I ranted and raved about the latest screwed up thing my boss had done. He asked me where I’d roam to next and my first thought was Chile, always wanting to have lived in a Spanish-speaking country.

As the end of my year-long contract approached, I decided to plan a backpacking trip around Southeast Asia, knowing it’d be ages before I got the opportunity to do so again. Thus I left South Korea without any regrets, starting off in the Philippines and working my way to Thailand. I met up with my guy bestie in Bangkok and, when that first friend left, Marie met up with me and we voyaged to Cambodia on the slowest moving train in the world. When we got there Alejandro and I argued about my safety as he thought I was taking too many risks as I recounted to him some of our crazier stories along the way. When we got to Vietnam the arguments became about how I was frequently missing our Skype dates, which he had every reason to be upset about considering we’d gone from talking nearly every day while I’d been in Korea to chatting briefly once or twice a week while I was on the road.

I knew he was also anxious because he was taking his pilot’s exam to transition from engineering into aviation and the long hours were taking their toll on him. He didn’t particularly enjoy when I told him I’d be travelling alone from Vietnam to Laos with an American chap I’d soul-bonded (platonically) with while on Castaway Island in HaLong Bay. The fights continued even as I flew to Kuala Lumpur and at one point I felt like our relationship was on the brink of ruin. Maybe it was all do to the distance but it’d been over two months since I’d left Korea (and seven since I'd last seen him) and my health wasn’t getting any better either. It didn't help that my last destination in Asia was a bedbug-infested mess in Singapore.

I was grateful to fly out of Asia a week later to head to Florida for the winter where my mom lived, yearning to be under her care while I struggled to recover but it was slow-going. We visited various doctors, spending hundreds on medical bills and medications since I didn’t have American insurance, yet no one could diagnose me. All I knew was that I was in constant pain.

Alejandro tried to cheer me up when I would return his calls but I fell into a depression, cocooning myself from the world as I told him to go on without me. All I wanted was for the agony to stop. It was the longest winter of my life that year but during that time Marie suggested some holistic treatments to me which I was entirely skeptical about at first.

Nevertheless, I figured it couldn’t hurt to try, having nothing else to lose and am I ever glad I did. Early spring found me nearly feeling like my old self again, just as my tourist visa for the States was about to expire and force me to leave the country. The last thing I wanted to do was move back to the cold of Canada so when Alejandro asked me to move to Spain and live with him, I nearly jumped with joy. For the first time in an eon I felt genuinely happy.

That bubble was quickly burst when I set foot back in Montréal and the Spanish embassy told me they couldn’t process my visa without a specially-certified police background check from Korea. This is a (nightmare) story of its own as for three months I ran back between both embassies on a nearly daily basis to the point that I got to know their respective employees on a first-name-basis. Suffice it to say that it was hell but thanks to Alejandro’s buddy-pass from his status as his airline’s newest co-pilot, I was able to fly back two days after my visa application cleared for practically peanuts.

All our years of waiting ang planning were about to come to fruition.

I practically ran through airport security as soon as I landed, dragging my suitcase behind me as I desperately searched for a sign of him. It was June 2017 by that point and fifteen months had come and gone since the last time I’d seen him face-to-face, our adventures in Rome and Korea nearly faded from memory. Yet they all came rushing back in a flood the instant I spied him across the arrivals lobby and our eyes connected through the sea of people. Time seemed to slow down and stretch into eternity as we tried to close the space between us, the distance almost torturous. My reaction was immediate, however, as I jumped into his arms and they still felt like home. It was as almost if no time had passed, like we hadn’t been tens of thousands of miles apart for the past two years.

I never looked back from that day and, sure, we’ve had our fair share of disagreements and squabbles (what couple doesn't?) but there was no one else I’d rather cross an ocean for at the end of the day. Nearly three years on and after almost five years of knowing each other, we’re still going strong, and moreover I’ve found someone to travel the world with me. He's been the best photographer along the way! All of these are snapshots of me that he's taken during our numerous trips such weekend trips to Portugal (always a good time) or, as true GOT fans, visiting Daenerys's Castle (without the CGI) as seen below.

**San Juan de Gaztelugatxe, País Vasko**

Sometimes we laugh about how different both our lives would've been if I'd simply decided to stay in the hostel that night but this is one adventure I've been happy to follow.

True, it might not always be easy (most intercultural relationships never are) but it’s real. I knew it when he asked me to get our civil union done in summer 2019 in order to allow me to stay in the country at least for another five years. I might've come to Europe initially just to look for a thrill but I gained something better than that, a true life partner, and that’s all any girl could ask for.

May you get lost in the wonder with your loved ones,

M